


without twilight or compromise

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2015 - Freeform, Isle of Man, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 03:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19844710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Dan and Phil explore an old bookstore.





	without twilight or compromise

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, renee!!

It's not that Dan has never been to Isle of Man with Phil before. 

He has - in those early years, he'd come a few times. He remembers lightning storms sat at the big window at the front of the house, and those long walks along the cliffs. He remembers the jumble of nerves and unfamiliarity and sitting politely around Phil's grandparents dinner table. 

He felt like a kid back then. He doesn't anymore, not so much; he turned twenty four last week. He hasn't been that scrawny teenager in years. Life feels different now, better in some ways and harder in others. 

He's trying, though. He's trying to make it less hard. There are lots of steps to starting that journey, and one of them was saying yes when Phil asked him to come spend Father's Day on this island. 

*

There's an old gray tabby sleeping in the chair by the window of the shop, basking in beams of sun. The cat lets out a steady rumbling snore and Dan envies the depth of that unconscious state. 

He's not really sure why they're here. Sure, Phil reads... once in a while. But neither of them are exactly collectors of the written word. All the books they own can fit on two rows of a bookshelf. 

But Phil's face lit up when they passed the door and Dan's really not inclined to tell Phil no on a day like today when the rain has stopped and there's a strong, warm coffee in his hand and no one expecting them to be anywhere doing anything. 

"I used to come in here with my grandma," Phil says. 

They leave the cat to his slumber and start to walk down the maze of aisles. The smell of old pages is thick in the air, almost cloying when Dan breathes it in deeply. 

That'd explain it, then. Phil and his nostalgia. Dan sometimes says he can't relate, but he's sure there are things in life that transport him back to being a kid. 

"Did she buy you books?" Dan asks. 

"Yeah, she'd always buy me one. I wonder what happened to all of them?" Phil muses. "Martyn and I used to have a whole shelf at her house." 

"Maybe they ended up right back here." Dan reaches out and lazily draws his fingers along the spines as they walk, feeling the bump bump bump under his fingertips in a satisfying way. "Are we doing the horse thing tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Phil says. "I think so." 

He sounds distracted, and that's alright. Dan can let him be lost in his own memories of this place for a while. 

*

Dan leaves Phil perusing a yellowed joke book and giggling to himself. He's sure Phil will go around repeating some of the jokes all day long, so he doesn't think he's missing much. 

He walks without purpose, without knowing where he's trying to go. He's not really sure it would make a difference if he did have a destination in mind. Each shelf has handwritten labels but the sections don't appear to be in any real order. 

The chaotic layout makes it feel impossibly large, like he's walking and walking forever, turning corners and finding dead ends. There are little things hidden amongst the hardcovers - figurines and framed needlepoints and sometimes stacks of bookmarks that look like someone cut them out by hand. 

At least it's not boring. 

*

He finds what he wasn't looking for in the far back corner, tucked between romance and dystopia. He feels shellshocked that this even exists; only two shelves of it, but it's more than he'd expected still. 

Queer fiction. 

He reaches out to touch a book and then as if on instinct, stops and looks to make sure no one is watching. 

Something inside him rolls with displeasure at that. He won’t let that feeling win. 

He grasps the first book he touches and firmly pulls it off the shelf. 

*

"Whatcha reading?" Phil asks. 

Dan looks up from where he's sat cross-legged on the faded green carpet. He blinks a couple of times. "Maurice." 

"I've read that one," Phil says. "During university. It's good. Are you going to get it?"

He's only ten pages in. He's not the fastest reader, and it hasn't been that long. He closes it and looks at the cover. He's not really sure that he'll finish it, but he finds himself not wanting to put it back, either. "Maybe." 

"You should." Phil's voice is soft. 

"Are you getting anything?" Dan asks. 

"Yeah." Phil grins and holds up the joke book. "I think my dad will love it." 

*

Dan checks out mentally while Phil actually checks out, chatting with the sleepy-eyed older woman about the weather forecast for the day and whether or not she remembers his grandmother.

It's started to rain again while they've been lost between the words. Dan wanders over to the window, then kneels to give the cat a closer look. 

It opens its eyes a bit, twitches its tail once, then goes back to sleep. 

"Ready?" Phil stands by him, a bag holding their books in his hand. 

Dan gets back to his feet. "Where to next?" 

Phil shrugs and holds the door open for him. "Wherever we want to go."


End file.
